Praise like this
(1) genuine
Be genuine – why? If you are not genuine when you praise, others will think you are not genuine. If you are genuine, you give the other person the chance to be genuine too. Genuineness strengthens your charisma, i.e. you come across as convincing.
Know exactly why you are praising the other person and stand by it.
Praise in the right proportion, i.e. not too strong but not too weak either. The intensity must suit the person and the situation. This also means that you should not praise things that are taken for granted. That would be rash.
It’s great how you closed the drawer again… makes the other person wonder: Is he kidding me?
(2) specific
Make the praise comprehensible. Describe precisely which behavior you observed where and when and found enriching.
That was great! What exactly?
You are a super guy! What do you like specifically?
I am proud of you! Why?
(3) Efforts
Of course, it is primarily about the result. However, the praise becomes even more powerful if you also praise the efforts that led to the goal. This has several advantages: You can also encourage someone who has not been successful but has made a great effort.
If a person has been successful, by chance or without effort, and they are praised for it, they might say to themselves:
I hardly did any work, but that was already more than enough. So I’ll do less in future. reinforces minimalism
I have had no leverage on success and am praised, i.e. it is deliberate that I cannot exert any influence. undermines self-efficacy
If my tennis coach tells me: “I like the result”, it means the shot was bad – you can be happy that your ball went into the court.
Perhaps a cartoon. One with a speech bubble, the other with a thought bubble.
Here is a poem where the manner is emphasized over the result.
For when the One Great Scorer comes
To write against your name,
He marks-not that you won or lost-
But how you played the game.
Grantland Rice
Example:
Sepp, I am delighted with the event you organized for the customer. It is the result of a great deal of effort on your part: a lot of time, care and far-reaching considerations. Thank you very much for everything you did.
The fact that the effort is already regarded as an achievement naturally presupposes a certain generosity.
Read a post on the topic here. Praise generously
(4) Impact
The behavior of the person being praised has had a positive effect. Point this out. Explain how the action has affected you and others.
To you: explain, for example, what feeling it triggers in you and what need has been met.
On others: Also show how the behavior has affected the team, customers, the company.
The person being praised recognizes that they have created meaning and benefit. This is motivating.
Beispiele:
Eva, your courageous efforts this morning are a great relief to the team.
Christoph, the cake you brought today not only tastes great, it also boosts the team spirit.
Anna, your way of dealing with mistakes encourages me to take risks and learn quickly. This helps me grow enormously.
Hans, I know you are responsible for creating the documentation. But because you do it so independently, I feel very relieved. It helps me to concentrate fully on my work.
(5) Gratitude
Look at it this way: the praised behavior is a gift that you have received and has enriched you and others. Now you are giving something back to the person you praised by expressing your gratitude. This shows your generous attitude and makes the other person happy. It also concludes the praise conversation.
Express your gratitude. Say:
Thank you.
I am grateful to you for that.
I thank you for that.
